Happy Valentine’s day!!

..or not!

I was looking thru my old writings wanting to find a very depressing Valentine’s post I wrote many years ago. It was one of those rants, so clearly inspired by Carrie in Sex & The City. I haven’t read it in ages. Before my first iBook I wrote journals. I wrote about everything that I could think of and I could easily fill a book a month, or more commonly one book for three months and then I wouldn’t write for a long time. When I got my iBook I wrote about things rather than feelings and I wrote about my first apartment and restoring it and so on. But I always wrote and I never looked back. That’s why I now can’t open my old journals. They were written in Claris works (.cwk) and that is not compatible with anything I know of today… I guess I will have to find a way to convert them, but until then I will have to just remember what it was like…

Not having a date for Valentine’s day. It wasn’t like I wanted  to cared about it really, but since everyone else did – I did too. I remember going home from the office and everyone was chatting, looking excited and I was just “it’ll be miserable, why trying” going home to my empty apartment, eating a bucket of ice-cream, watching whatever was on tv, going to bed alone.

My first Valentine’s day with my now husband, was magic. I hadn’t seen any of the Lord Of The Rings and the 2nd movie was coming out. They showed the first one for a week or so and my then boyfriend/now husband got us tickets. It was still early when it was finished and we went to my favourite Thai restaurant. Of course it was fully booked but we could sit in the bar and wait. We ended up waiting for like two hours, having one colourful drink after the other. We had such a good time, so much to talk about, so much we want to know about the other. All our dreams and history. It was a very romantic day.

After that we tried to do something special every year on Valentine’s day. But it worn off.

I don’t know when it happened. When we stopped trying to do something special. When we started to take our love for granted. When we decided we don’t need commercial holidays to be happy… Cause I really would have loved to have a bouquet of red roses delivered today…

Anyway, it’s cold outside as well as inside. I will dress up and go for a long run. Listen to some metal and get really really physically tired.

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